He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
