Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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