My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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