you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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