some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
