i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
