you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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