just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
