I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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