aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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