Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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