wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
