it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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