dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
