Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
