tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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