i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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