Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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