the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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