i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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