do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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