8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
even my farts smell like vagina
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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