I smell stomach acid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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