Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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