i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I want to fling myself into the sun
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize