I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
