I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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