i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
