he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
