just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
