U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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