We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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