i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
