Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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