I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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