If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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