so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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