I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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