I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
