my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
