I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
