guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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