I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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