im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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