the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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