i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
