So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
