careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
