Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
