You can't special order awesome
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
