Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
