and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize