Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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