Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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