i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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