some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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