i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize