I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You smell like stripper and shame
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
